  There is such a thing as a misunderstanding. It happens all the time, generally for no reason at all. A simple fluctuation in tone or facial expression, often completely unintentionally, can cause fantastic arguments that are blown entirely out of proportion. Sadly, these misunderstandings generally come in multiples. First you misunderstand, and then they misunderstand. This is where conflicts begin, both parties feel hurt and treated unfairly, and so they lash out. The key to remember here is that these are just misunderstandings. They have no meaning because they aren’t real! It is an entire ordeal based on something that didn’t actually happen. Isn’t that just a little silly? Maybe even stupid? Of course that applies to both sides, you can’t have an argument over a misunderstanding without others. It takes two to tango, and two to fight. The point here is, when you realize that there was a misunderstanding, it should all be over with. You shouldn’t continue to defend a viewpoint based on a delusion, a trick of the mind. When you expect one more step then there really is, do you stubbornly refuse to accept that there was never another step, that you simply imagined it, and insist that it is there? No, you shrug and move on because it was just a mistake. A misunderstanding is exactly the same when another person is involved. When it is revealed there is a misunderstanding, all too often someone can’t let it go. It HAS to be a big deal to them, it has to be something important, even if it isn’t. They grasp at nothingness, turning it into some grand conspiracy to hurt them, to make them look bad. We all do this, no matter how much we don’t like to admit it. Sadly, when we try not to, when we try to overcome this downfall, the other person becomes even more offended. They attack our behaviors, past and present, our mannerisms, our very thoughts and feelings. They become rude, inconsiderate, thoughtless, hurtful, and unpleasant. They yell, they scream, they interrupt us and ignore everything we say. This, I have found, is the source of most unhappiness and discontent. Most arguments are misunderstandings, and the two words are essentially interchangeable. We shouldn’t expect to change overnight. Mastery isn’t easy, that’s why it’s called mastery. To master ourselves is one of the hardest things we can ever do. I don’t want anyone to feel inferior, or less, because of this writing. It isn’t meant to hurt, if it was it wouldn’t be very real. So please, don’t misunderstand me. Hear me, listen if you care to, and maybe this will mean something to you. It does to me. Labels: misunderstood. |
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