Some things are better left unsaid.

Divine Heartstrings

I am afraid.
It has been a long time since I was afraid. Afraid of the night. Afraid to go to sleep. I don't want to be afraid. Fear causes you to go inside yourself. Like you put yourself in a hard shell and think you're protected there. Protected from life; from living life. But sometimes someone or something cracks your shell and you feel life and death pouring in.

I am afraid.
I am afraid that I will be alone in this life. I am afraid that I will have to struggle for the rest of my natural life. I am afraid that there is great sorrow ahead. I am afraid that there won't be a great love ahead. I am afraid of there was a significant event that ties to God’s tests, the anger inflicted by the people I knew and the questions that I can’t possibly answers.

There is agony under my skin.There is pain pumping through my veins. I am so scared. Those words that I used cover my face with, and use as an illusion to hide what I was feeling, are gone.Those facial expressions I use to cover my fears that none could ever tell that I'm afraid are no longer in sight.
Perhaps now, it might fade.

___________________________
edited

When I miss you, sometimes I listen to music or look pictures of you
not to remind me of you but to make me feel as if I'm with you.
It makes me forget the distance and capture you.
Goodnight love, since you wont be receiving my text tonight.
loveyou.
):

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