  It was a last minute call. I went to NUH to visit my uncle. He has got stroke. He has been such a nice uncle. People always said that he's first daughter's face has the resemblance as me, tho she's prettier. I could see sadness in his daughters' eyes. My heart felt so heavy when I saw him lying on the bed. I was helpless. I wish I could help him in any way possible but no, I just had to watch him there. He was warded in a special room for patients in serious conditions. Only limited of 2 person at most is entitled to enter the room. I stayed for awhile with his wife. I could cry seeing him. I hope you'll recover soon uncle. The problem lies within me. It is somehow invisible to others and yet so clear to oneself. I've been blinded by my own ego. Now I'm crapping shits here. I doubt you'll understand. The thing is I kept thinking about someone every single day, hours, minutes, seconds and whatever time could be expressed. Eventhough I would be on the phone with a friend trying to get my way out through what my mind was thinking, but oh well to no avail. I know I couldn't, in my life, understand the male species. I know myself, that I suck at relationships which explains my current status. Is it hard to have that someone who understands me better than anyone else. Is it that hard to have that someone who loves me for who I am and for what I'm not. Is it hard to understand me ? Oh, you don't have to answer that. It is all predestined. I am for who I am, none can change that except for the Almighty. There you go, I'm blabbering nothing but shits again. - you are all I'm thinking of |
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